Here are some things that I found not so obvious to all mankind, but with this knowledge I refine those who can be friends of mine: We're only as lucky as our timing is good. We're only as smart as our brain food. We're only as strong as our humor when hurt. We're only as genuine as our dealing with dirt. We're only the ignorance that we break. We're only the choices that we make. We're only as rich as our spending a dime. We can only live with it one time.

Last night I opened my heart And all my emotions flew off the chart Over drenched regret on the past. This morning, when I opened my eyes, All the colors around me scattered like flies And crashed on the window of trust. In the afternoon I opened my ears, And finally, words simply melted to tears Due to exceptional just. Tonight I am planning to open my window Unless my screams of laughter will just burst the glass Because I am free at last.

On early Thursday, you were gone, with all my laughter. In the sun, I banished music from my days, and stood in silence near your grave. I could not breathe nor could I stir, when all those people you held dear, came shuffling on and marching by, to shake my hand and search my eyes. The day you died my soul fell apart, and barbwire grew around my heart. I try to go on bit by bit, while letting no one near your seat. Life is lacking. Grief - complete.

Somewhere outside this wall and four floors down The world keeps moving without a pause. And here inside it's almost dark, on the bedroom floor I'm stark. My heart burnt a hole in my body and fell - chest, mattress, carpet, floor... A scorched canal between the springs and from the carpet some sparks stream. I'm empty and lost like the glass on my dresser, reaching towards the throbbing coal underneath. I need an anti-burn ointment, I need to see it through. I need to master disappointment. And maybe I need a new mattress too...

The owner of this dimly land is giving me a space, to bury whom I have become and who I was, with grace. I saw her footsteps on the roof, on windowsills at night. and followed her humble, aloof, and kept my heart at sight. I didn't learn her name was Hope or saw her leather boots, until I hanged down on a rope my memory from its roots. Put my defenses on the shelf is painful but is wise, if I'm to try these boots myself and hope will match my size.

I want your heart in a cream and mushroom sauce with dill. I want your eyes in my multifocal glasses gaze. I want your lips stuck to my neck with superglue seal. I want your hands sawn to my shoulders with nylon threads. I want your feet kissing my own feet like magnets. I want your ears kept in my pocket for bad days. I want your hug folded small till the moment of truth. I want all of you wanting me back the same way too.

I can hear your heartbeats through all the walls you built, I know you recognize now that It's not your shame or guilt. lets deconstruct the pain in a creative process, and tango in the rain like there's no one to stop us. If your demons call my ghosts we'll have a party, coast to coast, and since there's nothing else to hide - lets wear our battle scars with pride. I never thought l'd manage to climb those treacherous stairs, And every time I slipped and fell it made me more aware. When all my memories amiss, When all the wolves kept prowling on, The more I smiled through bleeding lips - The more accomplished I've become. So if your demons call my ghosts we'll have a party, coast to coast, and since there's nothing else to hide - lets wear our battle scars with pride. The deepest wounds inside my heart perhaps I can not share, but all I needed from the start is knowing that you're there. So if your demons call my ghosts we'll have a party, coast to coast, and since there's nothing else to hide - lets wear our battle scars with pride. Yes, if your demons call my ghosts we'll have a party, coast to coast, and since there's nothing else to hide - lets wear our battle scars with pride.

The spring of my awakening rinse my sanity's horizons. Reality compels itself in dazzling crimson spasms. Enforcing every nerve to sift the scorched, and put it out of sight. If I could just unplug my heart I'd welcome all this painful fight.

My god is a vindictive woman. I am not preaching here. She doesn't require Any love or admire- She only requires fear. She talks to me sometimes, At nights, She doesn't require my fate. Only my open mind in clear sight When life throws me in a debate. My god is kindly cruel, Reflected through my private art. Never allowing me to play the fool, Lose my control or fall apart. My god is in my mirror daily, But I need her to torture me sweetly. Because she never judge me When she shows me myself, And I understand her completely.

I never wet my toes In the stingy kind of snow Scattered around your smile. I step lightly in the shade Of your dimly lit approval When you put me in for trial. My hands will not unloose The grip upon the thorns Of your judgmental care. My heart exists on fumes Of stolen love-scorched glances Sometimes escape your stare. That’s all I’ll ever dare.

When weakness rules- she is the queen. Her smile is harmless. Her eyes are green. She whispers in the ears of those who envy you without a cause. She can impose them to charm you, but when you trust them they'll harm you, and though you have seen her before now you are hurt and can't ignore. So let me give you an advice: You are the one who rolls the dice, you're kind, you're wise, you're in control, and if you smile- she'll kill them all.

My open ears, My open heart, My empty drawer to store your pain. A bucket for tears, A bran new start, A few reasons to make you smile again. My understanding, My compassion, My friendship that is yours to keep, A time worth spending in conversation, An open line if you can't sleep. A view of an outsider if you need one, And a reminder of how to have tun. My brutal honesty. A lucky star, And a hug to remind you how wonderful you are.

This could be any city in the world. I will watch all the people through my music player and I won't pay any notice to the looks I'm getting. And while I'll probably be walking through this earthly layer my heart will stop if someone smells like you, I'm betting. This could be any time around the sun. I will still be the same unique expression of a girl and I will still live through all the weird emotions of creation. And while I'll tie my dreams to the real world in a twirl we would be locked together in my imagination. This could be any weather of the year. I will still swim a daily length of energy in the ocean and I'll go see any movie worth detaching for an hour. And while l'll mix all my peculiar routines to a magic potion I will still love you deeply in that fiercely power. This could be any distance from your side. And I might not share my pain with someone else just like I might not shade a tear that comes from sadness. And I will still pick in old wounds with my nails. And no one will replace you through this madness.

Somewhere inside the dazzling maze, it sits alone and wait for my awareness to erase the fears that it create. The lid is loose, the lock just broke, it opens when I least expect and my defenses go in smoke, along with hard earned self-respect. I'm glad it is no longer sealed, I wish for just one thing for me: that all the ghosts that it conceals would leave at last, and let me be.